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*le sigh* 3 Comments | Send To Friend | 21 October 2007
Charity Poker EventHi! A month and a half ago, Eenchokay Birchstick School, in Pikangikum, Ontario burnt down. Since then, many dedicated people in Southwestern Ontario have collected a lot of resources to replace those lost in the fire. Now, all that's left is to get them to the kids who need them.Come and join me on August 10, 2007 for a 50/50 poker tournament: half of the pot goes to putting stamps on the boxes, half goes to whatever you wish, if you are the lucky winner! Reilly's Bar and Grill is across from the former Sam the Record Man flagship store, on Yonge St. between Dundas and College. First table will start at 7:00; to buy in at a later time will require a greater contribution to the pot I have put this in the event catagory...If you are interested please sign up...if you have any questions please ask and i will try and answer them 0 Comments | Send To Friend | 3 August 2007
A young woman on a..A young woman on a flight from Mexico asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother's birthday. It's unopened and over my customs limits. I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you...I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they reached the customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvelous instrument designed for a womans use, but which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." "Next." 0 Comments | Send To Friend | 2 April 2007
A teacher was doing a..A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of Lifesavers. The children began to say: "Red............cherry," "Yellow.........lemon," "Green.........lime," "Orange.........orange," Finally the teacher gave them all honey Lifesavers. After eating them none of the children could identify the taste. "Well," he said, "I'll give you all a clue; It's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're assholes ! 0 Comments | Send To Friend | 30 January 2007
When I was a kid, adults..When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with theirtedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .... uphill BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email! ! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a eek to get there! here were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy So ny Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! . Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Regards, The over 30 Crowd 5 Comments | Send To Friend | 23 January 2007
what kind of drink are you? You are a sloppy drunk, purposely soIf drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any fun Truth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinking But you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way! http://www.blogthings.com/whatalcoholicdrinkareyouquiz/outcome.php It's sort of true...I love absynth! Not big into drugs...actually not at all...anymore....hmmm 0 Comments | Send To Friend | 18 January 2007
what car are you?You are a Nissan 350Z! You're not the fastest or the most agile, but you have style and power. You believe in looking good and moving quickly -- without breaking the bank. http://www.tomorrowland.us/cgi-bin/ptest-sportscar 0 Comments | Send To Friend | 18 January 2007
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Godi
